Weird

I was devastated on Friday. She told me that everything that she had been telling me for a week and a half at least was a lie... or at least a half lie. She has been with this guy officially for all this time and she didn't tell me. She was using me as a support beam and a guy on the side this whole time since we broke up. It made me feel like dying... It really did. Fortunately, that same night I went to a friend's birthday party and everybody (and the alcohol) cheered me up as quick as they could and I had a blast. :-)

Then yesterday I went to a blind date function for a friend and it turned out soooo much better than expected. The girl looked great, the time talking with her and the two other people we went with was fun and funny. It was perfect, or as perfect as a blind date can go. haha

And before this date I saw Sara Bareilles live! That doesn't sound very exciting to someone like me at first, because her music is a little poppy to say the least, but it turned out great! She sounded amazing, looked amazing, and i was with my friends. It was great. :-)

So yeah! I had one of the worst things of my life happen to me, but then the stuff after that happened actually almost canceled it out... kinda! I wonder what's in store for me next... I really hope some good things because I need to make up for all the bad luck I have been having with the exception of Friday and yesterday.

Don't know

I wanna update this when something significant happens and a lot of things are in the air right now... and might be for a while... So I will try to get back to this thing when I can! I just don't want to instill false hope in my very attentive readers of this blog aka Sarah and Renee and maybe Alexia now. haha :-D

Fuck My Life

I hate how I am such an emotional person sometimes. I let the smallest stuff get to me... Hell I let anything get to me. I'm an idiot in many ways and it makes me feel disappointed in myself. You would think in my years of experience with long distance relationships, long term relationships, and women in general I would be better at dealing with this stuff emotionally. My assumptions are false though of course. I wish I could start on a new slate with some people. It would make things easier for me in many ways. I like my emotion when it comes to being with somebody, but once I am single, my emotions turn against me. I guess it's a whole karma thing. I get good karma in relationships and then it's time for really bad karma when I get out of them. I think that's what it is. haha I like how I can laugh at how stupid I am... It makes me smile a little bit more than usual.

Random again which defines my LIFE! :-D

I lost and I won. I am just happy for once in a long time. One bad thing happened, but it is no biggie. Head starts on women are crazy impressive and well deserved because they put more work into it, especially if they are a good person. So yeah, other than that, things are going pretty well actually surprisingly. haha I am at a happy medium with friends at Radford including Julie, which is a relief. I am doing fairly well in my classes. My friends at UVA have grown in number and have risen in quality since February. Pretty much I am living it up! Well kinda. There are things that still need fixing, but the good thing is that they are fixable... with time. :-)
So yeah! Another happy note from Nick Freeman for the most part. I like it.

Yes I am posting another blog... :-P

Broke down, I found
Even when you think you need a rest
You will live to fight another round
I know its too bad, so sad
All the things that we could've been and could've had

We were two of a funny kind
So damn blind but now we got to nevermind
I know that this is the end, we tried
So hard, but now I got to lose a friend

This is the definition of my life right now. Sounds funny that I can narrow it down to this one song (which, by the way, is written by the Red Hot Chili Peppers and they are amazingly awesome), but it's really all I think about nowadays even when I do unrelated subjects such as homework and the like. Anyways, this is so because of a few reasons. One is the fact that I can apply that first verse to Julie, plus all of my potentials. Very convenient I would say. haha And then the second verse just talks about how I am no longer Julie's friend but how our relationship was pretty damn good. But yeah, I like the former verse more than the latter because the latter is more of the stuff I want to forget about and I am starting to forget about fortunately. So yeah! That's the deal with me. :-)

Bad Idea

I am stupid! I should not go with my gut ever again... too late, too slow... I have always been like that lately! I mean, a while ago I was too late to get Julie back, which I am fine with now... But now I just slip up or just fail to make connections soon enough to make anything happen with anybody! What the hell is wrong with me?! I used to be awesome at this stuff, not to brag or anything. ;-) haha I mean, I know how do things once everything is in motion, but I suck at getting things going in the first place. It's like knowing how to write a kick-ass essay except you don't know how to write an introductory paragraph for it. Ugh. Well, I won't give up now because that would be giving up too soon. Throwing in the towell might be the best option though in the near future... We shall see. :-/

Confirmation and add a little fear and complication to the mix

I wrote in my journal and it confirmed my beliefs on who I am interested in and why. I guess that's a good thing? I dunno. It's better for me in the view that at least I know I'm sure about things... but it isn't so good at the same time because that doesn't get me anywhere. I need more than just confirmation from myself... eventually in good time of course. I don't think it will work though. I feel like my thoughts are counterproductive; I am always thinking of possibilities that ae good and then smashing them with bad outcomes. It sucks. Whatever though. That's what the opposite sex does to you. The bad thing is that I know this person doesn't like me... Or at least I almost know. And there are complications that, if said, would give away who I am talking about. So yeah! I feel like a little high school boy talking about all this and causing stuff. haha I need to say these things though! :-)

The Year of The Snake: February 1989-January 26, 1990

Ok this is amazing... I will show you a copy and pasted thing about being born in the year of the snake first... It's eery how accurate this is. I will comment on it after I paste this:

People born in the year of the Snake may become philosophers, theologians, politicians, or financiers. The Snake is the most enigmatic of the twelve zodiac animals. Such persons are elegant, enjoy reading, listening to music, tasting delicious food, and going to the theatre. They are fascinated with beautiful things in life. Many of the most beautiful ladies and the men with strongest personalities were born in the year of the Snake. A person born in the year of the Snake usually acts according to his own judgment, and doesn't follow the views with others. He may be a religious believer or a pleasure-seeker. In either case, he would rather believe in his own conjectures than accept the advice of others, and he is generally right. They are not troubled by lack of money, and are usually lucky enough to own everything they need. If such a person is short of money, he can change the situation quickly. However, he shouldn't gamble, for he may lose everything he has. If he sustains great losses, he will soon come to realize his error and recover from it so that he will not be hit later. Generally, he will be cautious and alert when doing business. These people have a special talent that enables them to judge situations correctly. They are alert to new possibilities: when they have an idea of what to do and how to do it, they will pursue it persistently and energetically. The Snake is at home in any social situation, able to adapt and converse on all levels. In Chinese astrology, it is believed that they are self-confident, driven, intelligent, headstrong, and focused.

OK here is my analysis haha: I always act to my own judgement and I am stubborn in that way. I will listen to other people's advice, but I usually don't take it. I feel like my way is better in most cases... especially if I get advice from my peers and not my elders. I am not fully understood by anybody I don't think... Not completely. This contrbutes to my enigmaticness. I am not good looking, but I do have a fairly awesome personality in my opinion. :-D I enjoy music, theater , and reading more than most people and I analyze all three of those thoroughly while enjoying it, especially music. I am never short of money, but I am by no means poor. I just keep track of what I pay for crazily. WHen I gamble at anything, whether it be poker or something else, I usually lose. Not enough thought processes go on in those situations for me. I almost always correct my mistakes unless it comes to love... I fall into the same shit. I am a pleasure seeker in many ways; whether it be sex, or just love from friends via visiting and talking, I am definitely a pleasure seeker. I analyze my life to a great extent, so that contributes to my awareness to all possibilities of business, love, schooling, the future, etc. I also am able to adapt to anything if I choose and want to verrry verrry easily. I actually love the challenge most of the time. Now do you beleive me on how accurate this is?!?!?!?! haha Another post is coming up about being a Capricorn, which is very accurate too. :-)

I like her... a different girl... I think I like her. She is very interesting to me and seems fairly smart. I hope I like her. Actually I hope she likes me. That would be very coincidental and convenient. haha I don't think any of you know who it is either... message me if you wanna know on facebook or myspace. I might tell ya. :-) I don't think it will work out though... Nothing does since the breakup. But I have my hopes high (which I shouldn't do) and I am ready for what comes at me! I like how my last post wasn't too long ago but I am a lot more positive and less troubled in this post. Welcome to my confusing crazy mind peoples. :-D

Scared out of my mind

Things aren't going so hot for me.... and for many reasons. I might as well list them.

1. I am falling behind in my fluid mechanics and strength of materials work... I don't fully understand it anymore... it scares me for the next midterm and final for each class.

2. I haven't found anybody that I am even vaguely interested in compared to Julie. What the hell is my problem?! It's been over a month and I still love this girl that made me feel like shit since the break up. She has a hold on me that even I don't know the magnitude of. It's taking longer than usual to get over her compared to my other gf's too. This is so frustrating!

3. I don't know what she is up to. She "wants to be completely single", but her and her guy are probably spending time with each other as I type this shit. And this is part of my problem... I SHOULD NOT CARE. But like I said. She is choking me with her leash that isn't even intentional on her part... I don't think it's intentional anyways...

4. I miss my friends back home immediately after I leave Front Royal. It's the same with UVA friends too. I guess I am too attached to people in general... I guess that is my latest analysis of myself. haha Great news for me.... :-/

There's more but why trouble you guys with more reading, complaining, and time? You get the picture... If you decided to read this you are probably one of my great friends that understands how I am and why I feel these ways. So I am ending this now. Hopefully somebody will read this and tell me something I don't know.

Figuring this thing out

I really don't have time to write a real blog right now, but I just wanted to put this up for anybody that checks this out so that you will keep on coming (that's what she said)! So yeah! I will put something real up soon and all of you are awesome for all that read any of my blogs. :-)