Weird

I was devastated on Friday. She told me that everything that she had been telling me for a week and a half at least was a lie... or at least a half lie. She has been with this guy officially for all this time and she didn't tell me. She was using me as a support beam and a guy on the side this whole time since we broke up. It made me feel like dying... It really did. Fortunately, that same night I went to a friend's birthday party and everybody (and the alcohol) cheered me up as quick as they could and I had a blast. :-)

Then yesterday I went to a blind date function for a friend and it turned out soooo much better than expected. The girl looked great, the time talking with her and the two other people we went with was fun and funny. It was perfect, or as perfect as a blind date can go. haha

And before this date I saw Sara Bareilles live! That doesn't sound very exciting to someone like me at first, because her music is a little poppy to say the least, but it turned out great! She sounded amazing, looked amazing, and i was with my friends. It was great. :-)

So yeah! I had one of the worst things of my life happen to me, but then the stuff after that happened actually almost canceled it out... kinda! I wonder what's in store for me next... I really hope some good things because I need to make up for all the bad luck I have been having with the exception of Friday and yesterday.

Don't know

I wanna update this when something significant happens and a lot of things are in the air right now... and might be for a while... So I will try to get back to this thing when I can! I just don't want to instill false hope in my very attentive readers of this blog aka Sarah and Renee and maybe Alexia now. haha :-D

Fuck My Life

I hate how I am such an emotional person sometimes. I let the smallest stuff get to me... Hell I let anything get to me. I'm an idiot in many ways and it makes me feel disappointed in myself. You would think in my years of experience with long distance relationships, long term relationships, and women in general I would be better at dealing with this stuff emotionally. My assumptions are false though of course. I wish I could start on a new slate with some people. It would make things easier for me in many ways. I like my emotion when it comes to being with somebody, but once I am single, my emotions turn against me. I guess it's a whole karma thing. I get good karma in relationships and then it's time for really bad karma when I get out of them. I think that's what it is. haha I like how I can laugh at how stupid I am... It makes me smile a little bit more than usual.

Random again which defines my LIFE! :-D

I lost and I won. I am just happy for once in a long time. One bad thing happened, but it is no biggie. Head starts on women are crazy impressive and well deserved because they put more work into it, especially if they are a good person. So yeah, other than that, things are going pretty well actually surprisingly. haha I am at a happy medium with friends at Radford including Julie, which is a relief. I am doing fairly well in my classes. My friends at UVA have grown in number and have risen in quality since February. Pretty much I am living it up! Well kinda. There are things that still need fixing, but the good thing is that they are fixable... with time. :-)
So yeah! Another happy note from Nick Freeman for the most part. I like it.

Yes I am posting another blog... :-P

Broke down, I found
Even when you think you need a rest
You will live to fight another round
I know its too bad, so sad
All the things that we could've been and could've had

We were two of a funny kind
So damn blind but now we got to nevermind
I know that this is the end, we tried
So hard, but now I got to lose a friend

This is the definition of my life right now. Sounds funny that I can narrow it down to this one song (which, by the way, is written by the Red Hot Chili Peppers and they are amazingly awesome), but it's really all I think about nowadays even when I do unrelated subjects such as homework and the like. Anyways, this is so because of a few reasons. One is the fact that I can apply that first verse to Julie, plus all of my potentials. Very convenient I would say. haha And then the second verse just talks about how I am no longer Julie's friend but how our relationship was pretty damn good. But yeah, I like the former verse more than the latter because the latter is more of the stuff I want to forget about and I am starting to forget about fortunately. So yeah! That's the deal with me. :-)

Bad Idea

I am stupid! I should not go with my gut ever again... too late, too slow... I have always been like that lately! I mean, a while ago I was too late to get Julie back, which I am fine with now... But now I just slip up or just fail to make connections soon enough to make anything happen with anybody! What the hell is wrong with me?! I used to be awesome at this stuff, not to brag or anything. ;-) haha I mean, I know how do things once everything is in motion, but I suck at getting things going in the first place. It's like knowing how to write a kick-ass essay except you don't know how to write an introductory paragraph for it. Ugh. Well, I won't give up now because that would be giving up too soon. Throwing in the towell might be the best option though in the near future... We shall see. :-/

Confirmation and add a little fear and complication to the mix

I wrote in my journal and it confirmed my beliefs on who I am interested in and why. I guess that's a good thing? I dunno. It's better for me in the view that at least I know I'm sure about things... but it isn't so good at the same time because that doesn't get me anywhere. I need more than just confirmation from myself... eventually in good time of course. I don't think it will work though. I feel like my thoughts are counterproductive; I am always thinking of possibilities that ae good and then smashing them with bad outcomes. It sucks. Whatever though. That's what the opposite sex does to you. The bad thing is that I know this person doesn't like me... Or at least I almost know. And there are complications that, if said, would give away who I am talking about. So yeah! I feel like a little high school boy talking about all this and causing stuff. haha I need to say these things though! :-)